Tuesday, A Week to Remember Part 2: May 7-13
I kept on losing things. I had an orthodontist appointment today and had a note that I was going to give to the office so that I had permission to sign myself out. Everything was going well in the morning, my mom had written me a note and I swiftly brought it into my hands. I remember my mother telling me ,”Put it somewhere where you won’t lose it!” I shot back smugly ,”I won’t lose it.” putting emphasis on the “won’t” as I walked down the hall. Next thing I know I am halfway to school and mentally running through my schedule for the day and I found a gap in it.Where is my note?Ran across my brain. I could not turn back because I was giving my neighbor a ride so when I pulled into the parking lot I tore apart my backpack and searched frantically inside of my car. You may ask, why so worried about a little permission note? Well, it wasn’t the note but that my pride has recieved a jab in the stomach. I had to get off of my pedestal that I had started the day stepping on to and… call my mother. If you remember being eighteen, you remember wanting to do everything on your own and most definitely remember never wanting to call your mother to help you.
Lets just say the note disappeared completely. My mom didn’t find it anywhere in the house and I, no where among my belongings. Along with it, my pride disappeared in that time when I realized that I wasn’t as fly as I thought.
So, that is completely irrelevent to what I am going to talk about next but I thought I would just throw in that short narrative.
So, I want to continue talking about what was discussed in “When are you living for?” This time, I want to go more into depth about being present.
This journey of living for today has lasted some months. It has been my focus. In the very beginnings of it when I was beginning to feel pressures mount I would simply try to get through each day. On the way to school one morning, I recall putting in my earphones and trying to drown out the sounds around me and let my mind kind of take a trip somewhere else. In the next moment I remembers what the Lord has told me that morning, “Be present. Don’t miss today living for tomorrow.” and I took out my earphones and literally said to myself Be present. God was (and still is) calling me to crawl out of that enclosed cell in my mind and interact with the world around me. When living in the present, my purpose on a day to day basis has been clearer. I am seeking out friendships, reaching out to others, doing the things I love and seeing the wonders of God all around in a magnificent display.
One thing that I had neglected all of high school was beginning and mostly maintaining friendships. I was so absorbed in what tomorroe or the future has that I was racing speedily past and the people around me were but a blur and became irrelevent in my life. I would only venture into friendships where I was comfortable and my plans for tomorrow were not upset. If a friendship was not convenient, it would be placed far below the list of duties that I had compiled. However, as soon as I began living for today I see friendships as such an important aspect of life. I am more willing to pour my heart and love on to other people because I do not fear so much what its effect will be tomorrow. I don’t mean that I go around being too open with people, I am saying that the people that the Lord has placed in my life were actually becoming not just a thing to do on a list but a true joy. I am now investing in others lives more readily than before knowing that the Lord takes care of my tomorrow when I can brighten someone else’s today.
Lets just say in the last few months I have had a breakthrough with my music and writing. First off, I am writing more. I am not saying that every poem is a masterpiece or every chorus as beautiful as a symphony, I just mean that I am actually doing these things that before I denied myself the time. When I would leave tomorrow for tomorrow and do what I had to do today, I had not only physical time left over, but I had more space in my mind to be able to recieve inspiration and revelation from the Lord. All the noise and clutter was being replaced so I could truly take in all that is around me. I can hear the music in my head when I am composing and the next rhyme in a poem before I get there. I am becoming a vessel, more holy than before for God to fill with inspiration and wisdom and passion.
I am becoming more aware of myself as well living in this present attitude. The convicitions from the Lord are stronger and whenever I stray from the right path just a fraction of a degree, I feel it deeply in my spirit and I cannot remain in that state. I know what I want and am able to use the brain the Lord has given me to weigh my options and what truly would be best for me in a given situation. I am not afraid to stray outside of my little day plan I have set in my mind to go and smell some flowers or run outside to peer at the late spring sun setting. I am enjoying all that God has given me to enjoy on this earth! Anything that comes from my Creator I want to be near it because that is where I recieve inspiration and see reflections of his marvelous beauty in people and places around me.
God wants all of this for you today, tomorrow and everyday of your life.
No doubt, I am still a work in progress. I will continue to be in progress until I walk through those pearly gates and am the holiness of Christ floods my entire being. Time is unnecessary because the King of Kings holds eternity in his fists. Ah, that is something I am looking forward to.