This new series is called “Blindness” talking about the things in our life that make us blind to what God has for us.

Blindess series #1


Hmm…what is meant by that? Well, omission means the looking over or skipping of something and starvation means to suffer from lack of needs being met. How can these two relate to us? The most plain way I can put it is that when we skip things that are normally needed, we become starved.

This has -err still is- happening in my own life. I am a person for routine, and that becomes the monster. After leaving summer camps or retreats, I would get into the habit of slowly squeezing “God time” out of my life. Once life becomes normal again, almost magnetically am pulled back to my old dull schedule. I continue to squeeze him out, like squeezing juice from a lemon and it is just sour(<-lol, don’t read that). I get back into the swing of things and that becomes my excuse. ” I don’t have any time” is the excuse echoing in my head in the morning or when the day winds down. Life becomes pretty stagnant from then on. I can’t grow, it just seems like I am smacking continually into a wall and getting nowhere. I look at my Bible under all of the homework assignments and tissues and wonder How did I come this far? At that point I pick up my guitar or pen and when I try to write, I can’t. When I try to pray, my words come out dry. It then becomes a tugging force inside of me “read the Word, no you don’t have time! Pray, no you need sleep more. Pray!!!NO!!!Read!!!NO!!!” All of this from putting other things before God in my daily life, all of it gradually leading to a whirlpool of doubt, no motivation, and starvation from God. I call this “putting a cap on God’s spirit”.

I think this occured when me mind convinced me there wasn’t a need for prayer and God’s word, which is a lie I now see Satan told me. Look where listening to the enemies lies got me, sinking in a whirl pool going round and round. My brother said somehting one night that really got me thinking. There are things I know about God, he sustains us and blesses those who seek him. My brother told me that sometimes he stays us later because he needs to get his God time in but the Lord sustains his and energized him for the next day. Why have I been so ignorant to this? I was using sleep as an excuse and basically telling God “I don’t believe you are all powerful and you can’t bless me with rest”. I was also ignoring the fact that I could spend an hour in front of a computer but not take an hour to worship God, read His Word of talk to Him. I was starving myself, depriving myself of God’s presence. This leaked into my life ever so slyly when I began to feel very alone and exhausted all the time. I would try to write about my Lord but the emotions and passions seemed to be locked inside or masked by something else. As I write this I see why this is. God’s spirit and anointing is like a key that can unlock the door to your heart so His love and your love for Him and rush out like a flood. When we keep it locked and skip inviting in his spirit and presence every day, it remains locked. Then things pile in front of the door even further barricading God’s love from flowing out.

Today actually, I finally felt God’s key unlocking the door to my heart where all the passion and love for his resided. All I was feeling finally came into sync when I was frustrated because I was trying to write a song and I threw my journal. I then noticed it landed on top of my opened Bible, covering it’s contents. Then I realized that I was putting my abilities on too high of a level and ignoring the very Book where God’s love is written all throughout.

How can it be cured? Well even from right now I am just finding out how much we need to seek God through prayer, reading His word, and worshipping in song. Only then can his love be realeased from within our souls on a daily basis to energize, motivate, inspire, and lift us higher!

-Bethany P.


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